"Put the protective helmet on the snake, it's feeding time," said by my girlfriend at 2am.

Supposedly, one night I sat bolt upright in bed and started rubbing my ex's foot.
She woke up, and questioned me. I said, "Those with the biggest feet, get the most to eat", gave her a kiss on the forehead, and passed back out.

My wife told me that I once sat up, looked around the room, turned around, got on all fours and shouted, "IT'S NOT ALLOWED TO SNOW IN HERE!"

All Time Favorite Sleep Rambling!

My husband and I have been married for 4 years now and he has always said the most random things, but one stands out the most. One night I was still up reading and he was asleep. All of a sudden he kind of sat up and asked me "Do you hear that?" I asked him what he was talking about and he said that he heard a strange noise. I asked him what it sounded like and he said "It sounded like a unicorn getting scooped out of a birthday cake.....??" I still wonder what that sounds like.

My sister, who worked at Wendy's at the time, was sleeping during an early morning class. In the middle of the lesson she sat straight up and yelled, "Please don't put me on front register." Then she laid back down on her desk and continued sleeping.

Okay, so this was when I was at my sister's apartment...I was sleeping on the couch when suddenly I raised up and whispered(My mother heard) "Put the Banana on hold...the Raspberries are talking to me again. Their saying...Bowchikawow...wheeeeee~" Then I plopped back down.

A couple hours later, I raised up again...this time my father heard me...and I screamed "THE BACON CHEESE CHEESE BACON IS BACON DA BOOBLE DEEEEEE! SAVE THE CHILDREN! WE NEED THE BLUE WHALE KITTEENS!!! AAAAAHHHH!!!" Then once again I plopped back down, then for some reason my father said a few minutes later after that...I kicked the covers off and started grumbling..."The Pizza just laughed at me..."

"Did you pick the monkeys up from soccer practice? They aren't in the minivan."

According to my mother, she was trying to wake me up and I shouted, "No! Run for your lives! the Cheezels are coming, THE CHEEZELS ARE COMING!" I wish I could remember this dream.

My husband: "Imagine dicks."
Me: "Uh... what?"
My husband: "Imagine dicklets all over the floor!"

"Papercut the mosquito! PAPERCUT THE MOSQUITO!"


"That's my butthole."

After visiting a pet store and seeing a $4000 dollar monkey in an adorable dress, I teased my husband that either we could buy the new car we really needed or that monkey. He was not amused but that night in his sleep he said, "Yes Cathy, you can buy the monkey." That was 20 years ago and we still laugh about it to this day!

"The blanket is bleeding...."

"Dad, wake me up after the button..."